So I Have A New Addiction
Okay - this isn't even remotely theological...except...
I have a new weekly addiction. I HAVE to check out www.postsecret.blogspot.com I can't help myself. And invariably, I'm depressed, bumfuzzeled and entertained all in the space of about 5 minutes. Don't go there. I'm not kidding. If you're anything like me you'll check it out every Monday or Tuesday...
But if you do go there...
See, here's the premise. People send in these anonymous "secrets." This is a blog of peoples' confessions - all anonymous. People write the most horrifying and most innane things. If even one in ten is true (and I bet it's higher than that) then there is some terrifying stuff going on in peoples' lives.
So, why can we confess to the world anonymously, but not to the people we supposedly love personally? And how about to God?
I yelled at Rachel the other day. She was whining, yes, but I was having a psychotic moment (well, not clinically, or anything - but I was in a REALLY, REALLY bad mood) and Rachel kept wanting this and that and then she spilled milk on the carpet and I went off...and she was...damaged... She started to cry and immediately I picked her up and I apologized and I told her that she didn't do anything wrong and that I was so very sorry that I was taking my bad day out on her and we cried together (and I'm almost crying right now thinking about it) and when I finally let go she had told me she forgave me and she acted like she had...but will she be writing a Post Secret in ten or fifteen years? "Daddy, I knew you loved me but why didn't you act like it all the time?" Will she just get more calloused becasue of the times I've done that kind of thing? I really try to confess and repent immediately when I screw up - and I screw up a lot with a lot of different things - but is that enough? Does God just shake His head when I've somehow misrepresented Him for the hundreth time and I just fall apart and fall on His mercy?
I don't know.
I don't really know much of anything, it turns out. I hope in the middle of my struggle to be faithful to God, to my wife and my family, to my friends and my church, and to the calling that God has given me that grace really does abound. I don't get much right - but God does.
Let me end on a high note. I'm thinking C#... heh... I have to trust that for everything that I screw up and for everytime that I fail and fall and give up - God is faithful. The blood of Jesus washes away our sin...
I have a new weekly addiction. I HAVE to check out www.postsecret.blogspot.com I can't help myself. And invariably, I'm depressed, bumfuzzeled and entertained all in the space of about 5 minutes. Don't go there. I'm not kidding. If you're anything like me you'll check it out every Monday or Tuesday...
But if you do go there...
See, here's the premise. People send in these anonymous "secrets." This is a blog of peoples' confessions - all anonymous. People write the most horrifying and most innane things. If even one in ten is true (and I bet it's higher than that) then there is some terrifying stuff going on in peoples' lives.
So, why can we confess to the world anonymously, but not to the people we supposedly love personally? And how about to God?
I yelled at Rachel the other day. She was whining, yes, but I was having a psychotic moment (well, not clinically, or anything - but I was in a REALLY, REALLY bad mood) and Rachel kept wanting this and that and then she spilled milk on the carpet and I went off...and she was...damaged... She started to cry and immediately I picked her up and I apologized and I told her that she didn't do anything wrong and that I was so very sorry that I was taking my bad day out on her and we cried together (and I'm almost crying right now thinking about it) and when I finally let go she had told me she forgave me and she acted like she had...but will she be writing a Post Secret in ten or fifteen years? "Daddy, I knew you loved me but why didn't you act like it all the time?" Will she just get more calloused becasue of the times I've done that kind of thing? I really try to confess and repent immediately when I screw up - and I screw up a lot with a lot of different things - but is that enough? Does God just shake His head when I've somehow misrepresented Him for the hundreth time and I just fall apart and fall on His mercy?
I don't know.
I don't really know much of anything, it turns out. I hope in the middle of my struggle to be faithful to God, to my wife and my family, to my friends and my church, and to the calling that God has given me that grace really does abound. I don't get much right - but God does.
Let me end on a high note. I'm thinking C#... heh... I have to trust that for everything that I screw up and for everytime that I fail and fall and give up - God is faithful. The blood of Jesus washes away our sin...
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