I Love You, Too...
Bill Starr and I were praying before worship this morning and while I was praying I had a realization about worship. And, as with my best realizations, it's connected with my relationship with my family.
It seems like, no matter what happens, if I say "I love you" to my wife or either of my daughters, their immediate response is to say "I love you" back. Surprised? Okay, me either. But here's the thing.
I was just going around the Sunday School classes and I stopped in on the singing time with the little ones (preschool and kindergarten). Both of my daughters were in there. Elie was misbehaving. She didn't see me come in so when I said (in Father voice, of course), "Eliana Renee stop that" well - I surprised her and scared her. She didn't expect me to be there and she certainly didn't expect me to see her misbehaving. She ran to her teacher, buried her head in her arms and began to cry... Not really what I was hoping for, of course... sigh...
But, here it is. I went over to her and reached for her and she jumped into my arms and buried her head into my shoulder (yep, my jacket needs dry cleaned now) and kept on crying. I whispered to her, "I love you."
And she turned to me, tears and snot still running down her face, and said, "I love you, too." And then started to cry some more...but less...um...deeply...
And when I tried to set her down to continue my "tour" of the classes, she didn't want me to leave, she didn't want me to even set her down.
Now, I know that she loves her teacher - and that she loves Sunday School (still at the age to cheer about going to church), I can only guess as to why she wouldn't let go of me - even though I'm the one who caused her to get upset in the first place.
But I know why *I* get like that...and so I will guess...
I think that I gave her a space to give love. Do you know what I mean? Hmmm, not sure I know what I mean, but it makes sense to me.
When I said that I love her, I was opening up a place in that moment where she could know that she's loved and that she could offer it back. Not as just an automatic response (oh, great story, and true - 6 or 7 year old boy is watching Star Wars for the first time and someone says, "May the Force be with you." and the boy just automatically says, "And also with you."). Not just words, but her (and my) heart. If she didn't belive that I love her, she wouldn't have come into that space to say it back. If we didn't have a history of really caring for each other - if those three words were just words on my part - then she would not have calmed down, she would not have even come to me.... maybe...
So, here's MY thing with this. God is constantly saying, "I love you." to me - to everyone. And that opens up the opportunity for us to say it back. I wonder, though...do we?
There are excuses - we feel hurt by God, denied by God, rejected, unfulfilled - but still, I know, that no matter what, I can bury my head on God's shoulder, snot and all, and hear those words:
I love you.
God, I love you, too.
It seems like, no matter what happens, if I say "I love you" to my wife or either of my daughters, their immediate response is to say "I love you" back. Surprised? Okay, me either. But here's the thing.
I was just going around the Sunday School classes and I stopped in on the singing time with the little ones (preschool and kindergarten). Both of my daughters were in there. Elie was misbehaving. She didn't see me come in so when I said (in Father voice, of course), "Eliana Renee stop that" well - I surprised her and scared her. She didn't expect me to be there and she certainly didn't expect me to see her misbehaving. She ran to her teacher, buried her head in her arms and began to cry... Not really what I was hoping for, of course... sigh...
But, here it is. I went over to her and reached for her and she jumped into my arms and buried her head into my shoulder (yep, my jacket needs dry cleaned now) and kept on crying. I whispered to her, "I love you."
And she turned to me, tears and snot still running down her face, and said, "I love you, too." And then started to cry some more...but less...um...deeply...
And when I tried to set her down to continue my "tour" of the classes, she didn't want me to leave, she didn't want me to even set her down.
Now, I know that she loves her teacher - and that she loves Sunday School (still at the age to cheer about going to church), I can only guess as to why she wouldn't let go of me - even though I'm the one who caused her to get upset in the first place.
But I know why *I* get like that...and so I will guess...
I think that I gave her a space to give love. Do you know what I mean? Hmmm, not sure I know what I mean, but it makes sense to me.
When I said that I love her, I was opening up a place in that moment where she could know that she's loved and that she could offer it back. Not as just an automatic response (oh, great story, and true - 6 or 7 year old boy is watching Star Wars for the first time and someone says, "May the Force be with you." and the boy just automatically says, "And also with you."). Not just words, but her (and my) heart. If she didn't belive that I love her, she wouldn't have come into that space to say it back. If we didn't have a history of really caring for each other - if those three words were just words on my part - then she would not have calmed down, she would not have even come to me.... maybe...
So, here's MY thing with this. God is constantly saying, "I love you." to me - to everyone. And that opens up the opportunity for us to say it back. I wonder, though...do we?
There are excuses - we feel hurt by God, denied by God, rejected, unfulfilled - but still, I know, that no matter what, I can bury my head on God's shoulder, snot and all, and hear those words:
I love you.
God, I love you, too.
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