Forgotten?
I spent a lot of hours on the road over the last four days. That always gives me time to think - to pray - to whine and not worry about offending anybody - to dream out loud and not be embarassed... I realized (at 70 mph, thank you very much) that I've pretty much put God on the back burner, so to speak. Don't get me wrong. I'm a pastor, God is my job. So I still read the Bible. I still pray. I'm still present with God.
But you know how people can be in the same room (present with each other) but be miles away? That's been me and God - off and on - for the past several months. And, of course, it's been me. But I never really thought it bothered God all that much. I mean, God created patience, right?
Okay, I'm rambling... I ran across this passage from the Psalms (44:20-21):
If we had forgotten the name of our God,
or spread out our hands to a strange god
would not God discover this?
For he knows the secrets of the heart.
Then I realized -- even though I've been ignoring God, God hasn't been ignoring me. In fact, God KNOWS what's going on in my heart. God knows why I am how I am...heck, I don't even know that half of the time.
Jesus promised "I am with you always, to the end of the age."
I am with you. Not near you, not ahead of you, not waiting for you. I am with you. Here. Now. So, God, even though half of the time I barely acknowledge you exist, you're still here with me?
Always. Not sometimes. Not occasionally. Not most of the time. Not, "when I'm not in a meeting." Always. Every minute. So, God, you don't take time off from me? Sometime I want time off from me...
So, I've been in a funk for awhile. Been ignoring those who love me the most. I don't know what gets into me -- but, it turns out, God does.
Now, where do I go from here?
But you know how people can be in the same room (present with each other) but be miles away? That's been me and God - off and on - for the past several months. And, of course, it's been me. But I never really thought it bothered God all that much. I mean, God created patience, right?
Okay, I'm rambling... I ran across this passage from the Psalms (44:20-21):
If we had forgotten the name of our God,
or spread out our hands to a strange god
would not God discover this?
For he knows the secrets of the heart.
Then I realized -- even though I've been ignoring God, God hasn't been ignoring me. In fact, God KNOWS what's going on in my heart. God knows why I am how I am...heck, I don't even know that half of the time.
Jesus promised "I am with you always, to the end of the age."
I am with you. Not near you, not ahead of you, not waiting for you. I am with you. Here. Now. So, God, even though half of the time I barely acknowledge you exist, you're still here with me?
Always. Not sometimes. Not occasionally. Not most of the time. Not, "when I'm not in a meeting." Always. Every minute. So, God, you don't take time off from me? Sometime I want time off from me...
So, I've been in a funk for awhile. Been ignoring those who love me the most. I don't know what gets into me -- but, it turns out, God does.
Now, where do I go from here?
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