I Now Pronounce You...Sort of Husband and Wife

So, a pastor friend has a dilemna that he shares with me (and with a few other pastors around the table). He goes to visit a couple from his church. They are both retired, strong church members, good attenders and givers, devout, all of that. But he's been wondering something: they have different last names. She has been introduced to the pastor as, "this is my wife..." so he's thinking maybe, long before it was in fashion, she retained her maiden name when they married. No, they aren't "really" married. But it's not that they don't love each other, in fact they WANT to be married. They are totally committed to each other, and have been for several years. The thing is, if they get married, somehow they lose about a third of their income. They can't afford to get married.

So, my friend asks, what do you do? Do you insist they get married? Do you give them a blessing on their "marriage in the eyes of God?" Do you tell them they're going to hell? Do you do nothing?

And, what if they were 25 and gave you the same story? Would that make a difference? What if it was Bob and Larry instead of Bob and Mary? Would that make a difference? Are there lines to be drawn?

Bob and Mary (of course, not their real names) told my friend that they felt guilty about this arrangement - but that there was simply no practical way for them to get "legally married." They want to know that God approves of their vows to each other, even if they can't go to the state to make it official.

What to do?

Hmmm...