Upstage me

I wasn't with them when this happened but Lori related this story (through her sister, too - but it's pretty reliable - no real dirt here, anyway...heh):

Rachel, Elie, Sharon and Lori were shopping the other day (train the child up in the way she should go and when she is old...well, anyway) and Lori was off looking at something and Rachel and Elie were posing and dancing in front of one of those triple mirrors. Laughing and jumping and basically being three and five years old.

However, Elie kept jumping in front of Rachel and at one point Rachel (who is five) burst out, "Elie, you keep upstaging me!"

I still smile thinking about it.

But the thing is, I don't think Lori or I have ever used the phrase in front of Rachel. I mean, really, when would we? And I started to think about where she would have heard it. Maybe preschool or at dance lessons. Not sure. Maybe a cartoon (something on Noggin, most likely, since we're pretty particular about what they watch...).

But what struck me wasn't that she had learned the phrase. Big deal. Both girls will occasionally repeat something they've heard.

She got the whole concept and applied it to that moment. Amazing? No, not really. Kind of mundane, I guess.

But what does it show? She learns from influences beyond mom and dad. She takes in not just facts and words - but whole concepts and can interpret them and apply them to her life.

So I don't feel guilty about keeping her from watching things anymore. I've seen what brats the Rugrats kids are, and I don't want that for my daughter. In fact, I told a young girl once (maybe 12 or 13 year old) that we didn't let the girls watch Nickelodeon and she said to me, in essence, "That's just stupid. They're good shows." Yep, and I bet you learned your respect for other people from just those shows...

So, I continue to marvel at these two tiny human beings who just soak in everything they see and hear and experience and how they can turn that around - usually into something really, really good...

So there's hope for me? I guess I need to think about my own choices. I was up too late last night watching Alien: Resurrection. Okay - I admit that I love sci-fi. It's fun, it's flashy...you get it. But there was way too much swearing, way too much blood and gore (blood and gore in Saving Private Ryan is for effect: this is war, it is awful in every way -- blood and gore in Alien: Resurrection is for effect: oooo, be shocked by how many ways we can dismember a body and how much fake blood we can spray around the set). So, I got disgusted with myself and went to bed. Again, too late (heh, or EARLY in the morning, in this case). So what was I feeding my brain? The entertainment equivalent of a Big Mac (it'll fill you up, but it's not any good for you) and the spiritual equivalent of...um...? Dunno even how to qualify that (nevermind what I HAD written there, fill in your own blank).

Filters. Gotta have better filters. Filters from eyes to brain that cause me to look away, from brain to hand that causes me to change the channel (or better, shut the cursed box off). Filters from brain to mouth so that I don't just say whatever comes to mind...which can sometimes be disastrous.

Okay - that's pretty far from what I started with. But not really. Rachel and Elie are so good at taking in experiences, turning them around in their minds and in their hearts, and making them part of who they are. So am I, I guess. I think we all are. We don't see it, because we're too involved with the process...

Kids Are on the Run

Altar Boys - Against the Grain

Words and Music by Mike Stand

"To the Bloods, Crips, 5th street gang, etc...you are loved."

In a rage they stand

In a world gone mad

Tight fisted lives of heartache

Living in this land

In their worn out jeans

With holes in the knees

All the battles fought in empty lots we've never seen

Chorus:How many lives will be lost

How many lives will be won

Cause the kids are on the run

And all the planned out schemes

And video machines

Running through the night

Chasing another dead end dream

And all the idle time that just passed by

They're unaware of the damage done

The think they'll never, never, never die!

Chorus:How many lives will be lost
How many lives will be won
Cause the kids are on the run

Bridge:They're reaching out for something

This world cannot give

and they're lashing out in anger

Cause deep inside they want to live

God the kids just want to live! live!

Has the script been read?

Does the kid lie dead?

To survive they do what they can just to stay ahead

And the tragedy isn't hard to see

The kids are just reflections

Of everything they hear and everything they see

How many lives will be lost?

How many lives will be lost?

Tell me!Cause the kids are on the run

The kids are on the run

And the tragedy isn't hard to see the kids are just reflections of everything they hear and everything they see...

It IS tragic - I see some of my faults in Rachel and Elie, as well as the best of both Lori and I. And it's frustating because I think I'm doing pretty well, but it's the unconscious stuff...argh... ESPECIALLY the way they react to frustration. I have modeled how NOT to react far too often...sigh...

We own it, I think, but I've never watched it. Still, one of my guys always makes refrence to this song from South Pacific:

Cable:You've got to be taught

To hate and fear,

You've got to be taught

From year to year,

It's got to be drummed

In your dear little ear

You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught to be afraid

Of people whose eyes are oddly made,

And people whose skin is a diff'rent shade,

You've got to be carefully taught.

You've got to be taught before it's too late,

Before you are six or seven or eight,

To hate all the people your relatives hate,

You've got to be carefully taught!

Not just hate: by six or seven or eight, we've got to be carefully taught to love, too...
Or we end up broken...