Cross Bearing

Another day, another funk... Not sure why I never seen to update the blog - nobody's reading it, so I can be free to write whatever I want to write, right?


We had our annual all church meeting two nights ago (in the UMC we call it Church Conference or Charge Conference - in contrast to Annual Conference, which involves all of the churches in Western PA - every June - or District Conference which occurs every spring and involves the 50 or so churches in our district - Church Conference is in the fall and, well, we talk about our church).


At the meeting, the District Superintendent talked at length about not looking back but looking forward. He, of course, made reference to Isaiah 42:9

 See, the former things have come to pass,
and new things I now declare;
before they spring forth,
I tell you of them.

God is doing new things. SEE...THE NEW THINGS I NOW DECLARE. Even before they happen, God is telling us about the new things. What is done, is done. The past is, well, past...


Then he started talking about the Gospel of Luke. I sat back with a certain smug satisfaction. I preached this sermon seven or eight months ago. Don't look back. That whole plowing the field thing, right? Jesus is talking to "would-be disciples about not looking back."


But, he wasn't going there, not even the same chapter of Luke (that's chapter 10, by the way - three "would-be followers of Jesus" - foxes have holes... let the dead bury the dead... hand to the plowshare...)


Instead he was talking about chapter nine and the "would -be followers" were probably only the TWELVE! And Peter had just made the confession, "You are the Messiah." And then Jesus has said that the Son of Man would suffer and die and rise again. And, "If any want to become my followers..." That's where he was going with this. "If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross..." and here's where Luke, and only Luke, gets the important phrase that talks about looking ahead and not looking back... "If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross DAILY and follow me."


Take up your cross DAILY. The implication is that if we have to take up the cross daily, at some point we set it down... Somehow, through the course of living out our faith day to day, we lay down our cross and we have to exert our will, our faith, our total surrender to God and lay our hands back on that bloodied and battered wood, heft it on our shoulders and...and here's my particular spin on this...heft it on our shoulders and then let Him carry us through... That cross is NOT a burden, it is NOT an anchor, it is NOT to be a heavy weight that slows us down and pushes us beyond our endurance. If we will really take up our cross, I mean really surrender ourselves and take up the cross, we will find it a joyful burden to carry. Like carrying my daughter (who is approaching forty pounds, I know it). I love it. Even when my back hurts. Even when I'm bone weary from the day. Even when my head is pounding and I have a thousand other things I'm supposed to be doing, she looks up with her innocent eyes, her expectant face and arms flung wide and my heart laughs, even if my body groans. She wants to be embraced by her father. She's getting heavy, no doubt about it, but I will gladly, joyfully, take up that burden daily - if I could do it, I'd carry her all the time...


Cross bearing seems to involve cross-laying-down too... Well, that's true for me...


I was listening to The Waiting - their first album (well, first "label release" or whatever you want to call it). I know, their SELF-TITLED album...


The song: "Hands in the Air" -- one of my favorite songs. I love singing it, because it is a worship song for me. It's where I am with God so much. It's how I lay down my cross so many times...

If I raise my hands just to lift the shade

Will I reveal a sky heavy and gray?

Will last night be a memory sweetly fading?

How I hate a morning starting out this way

On these lonely, raging mornings I would whip You if I could

But You're on the mighty side of strong

And the perfect side of good

If I raise my hands will You grab my by the wrists

And will You try to pull me from the fray?

And even if my fingers join together into fists

Will You hold me firmly anyway?

Because I would try to escape You but for everyday I'm sure

That You're on the huge side of big

And the holy side of pure

Okay

Hear what I say

As I raise my hands in surrender today

Okay

Here I will stay

Hands in the air, singing have Thine own way

If I raise my hands so weak and thin and frail

Will You reveal the light of mercy in Your eyes?

If I cry to You faintly will my feeble whisper fail?

Or will it find its way to a reply?

Because, now that I'm exhausted I think I'm ready to admit

That I have spent all my resistance on someone I can't resist

Okay, hear what I say

As I raise my hands in surrender today

Okay

Here I will stay

Hands in the air, singing have Thine own way

Light from my window sill, make my way to the door

I hang my head and still, I know you're wanting more

Over the threshold now, I move across the yard

All that my will allows, my every step is hard

Now in the garden I carve out six feet of space

There make my will comply, lie down upon my face

Been toe to toe too long, I'm tired of fighting You

I see You were too strong 'cause I am black and blue

But now I understand a loser's due to win

How every dying man is sure to rise again

So I raise my left hand one, I raise my right hand two

Under the morning sun, my spirit cries to You

Okay

Hear what I say

As I raise my hands in surrender today

Right here

Under the sun

Hands in the air, saying Thy will be done

I'm here

Under the sun

Hands in the air, singing Thy will be done

Okay

Here I will stay

Hands in the air, singing have Thine own way

Hands in the air, singing have Thine own way

Have Thine own way, Lord, have Thine own way