Growing Up...

I'm not ready for it.  Well, not for me (I grew up sometime in the  early to mid 2000s , I would guess) but for the girls.  Sunday we took them off to pony camp at Wesley Woods - it's Tuesday afternoon, (when I wrote this - published it Wed morning) and I really miss them.  It's not like when they go to grandma's for the week...but I don't know why it's different...

When we were waiting in line to check them in, I was holding Rachel close and I whispered, "Are you nervous?"

She nodded her head, "Yeah, I'm kinda scared."  She hugged me hard.

"It'll be great," I said.  But I don't know if I meant it.  I've never been to camp.  I have to trust these people I don't even know to take care of these two girls who are so precious to me...  But my good friends Michael and Seth know Wesley Woods, they assure me the girls will have a great week. Andy, one of our youth guys, works there and he can check in on them and Andy and Seth both told us that the deans are wonderful...

But...

These are my little girls...  How do I know?  How can I be sure?

I can't.  I guess I have to grow up a little this week, too.  I have to be a little willing to let them out of sight, to trust them with what we've taught them.  To trust God to hold them and I'll have to pray a little extra hard for them this week.  Kids get homesick, do they know that parents get...kidsick?  Does God feel that way about us when we are far from Him?  Does it feel this empty and lonely to God when we don't pray, don't worship, don't seem to care?  And I know that the girls will be back in just under 4 days...  What's it like for God who knows it will be years, decades for some?  And for some...never...

At another point in line I pulled Elie close and whispered in her ear, "Are you nervous?"

"No," she said, "Well, maybe a little."  Then she kissed me on the cheek.  "I hope I get a pretty horse."

"I hope so too, honey."

We hauled all their stuff to the cabin (I feel like we over packed - but we're Beattys, if something's worth doing, it's worth OVERdoing) and almost immediately the counselors said, "They're playing a game up on the lawn.  They can finish unpacking later.  This is a get to know each other game."  So off they went, and Lori and I unpacked all their stuff and made their beds.  I really enjoyed those few minutes - getting stuff ready for them, making sure they had everything they needed.  I can imagine that it would be nice coming back from everything and instead of having to make a bed and put stuff away, it'll be nice to just have it all done already... (I know, random tangent...)

Pulling away from the camp that "missing them" feeling started for both of us...  Don't get me wrong, we are enjoying our time together, but we can't wait to be with the girls again, too...

I guess I have to be ready to keep "growing up" - 'cause this is going to keep happening.  More summer camps, then college...then... well, I don't want to think about it.  Let me enjoy these days for what they are.

Wonderful.