The Agony

So I've been doing a lot of reading on Surrender, Trust, Gethsemane and, naturally, some stuff did not make the cut for the message this week, but stuff that I think is important.

First, this idea of the anguish of the Son of God. I've heard people say things like "that's the humanity of Jesus overwhelming the divinity" but...really? Isn't that kind of a definition of sin? When my humanity overwhelms the Spirit in me? I know what people are trying to say...but I don't think so.

Word Biblical Commentary says, "The mystery of the agony of God's unique Son cannot be fully penetrated." (WBC vol 33B, page 785)

And that's the place to start, I think. We want to explain everything (actually, I think that's a little bit of the image of God in us - the search for identity and answers and the edge of everything - I believe that God instilled that in all of us, but we take it to sinful lengths...but that's a topic for another post...maybe...someday). Anyway, it's in our nature to want to explain everything away. But there are some things for which we have absolutely no point of reference.

Especially the very nature of God.

So, no, we will never fully penetrate the mystery of the agony of God's Son (or of God, for that matter). Yet...

Could it have something to do with not just the fact that he's facing death - terrible, torturous murder - but the fact that he is about the bear (that is carry or put on) ALL OF THE SIN OF THE WORLD. Think about it. What is one thing Jesus never had first-hand experience of...sin. He never sinned. Never once. Tempted, yes (i.e. Matthew 4:1-11). Sinned? No. (Hebrews 4:15)

Maybe more to the point is what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 5:21

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Made to be sin (here interpreted in light of Isaiah 53:4ff). What must that be like? Not a mere Martyrdom (mere?) where the condemned goes willingly, bravely, fiercely even to the executioner***. How could the Son of God - truly, God Himself made flesh - go to the gallows any less bravely?

But it is not fear, I think. It is the weight of what is coming. Not the death. The sin. The sacrifice for sin. The weight of redeeming all of creation by bearing the punishment for all of sin. That, I believe, is what is agonizing the Son of God in the hours before his execution. And it's not fear or uncertainty or distrust of God - but it is God experiencing the pain and dirt and agony and wrath of sin - God who is holy and other, God who is without sin - who can't even bear to look on our evil, our sin - would in Christ bear that sin - and bear the punishment for that sin.

No wonder Jesus' sweat is like blood - no wonder his spirit is in torment.

The wonder - for me - is that Jesus did all he did for us - undeserving, ungrateful, unbelieving, unwilling as we are - that Jesus did this for us...

And some days that breaks my heart...