I Like "Having Written"

When I was in seminary I worked at the library. One night my Greek Professor, Dr. Gagnon, was checking out some books for something that he was writing. We talked a bit about the possibilities of me pursuing a doctorate and , about his work in New Testament studies, stuff like that. I don't remember most of the details of the conversation but I do remember asking him if he liked writing - because it's such a big part of what he did.

He said, "I like 'having written.'"

And I get it. I recently had this kind of conversation with Pastor Steve as well. Steve said that by the time he writes out his sermon he's worked it all out in his head, so it's like he's re-doing it, or something (though neither one of us is any where near ready to go without notes...)

But that's not the case for me and I think I nailed what goes on in my head about writing when Steve and I were talking.

When I plan out any writing project (yep, even blog posts which I've started doing ahead and scheduling the posts - yep, including this one) - when I plan out any writing project, it's all open and possible, if you know what I mean. A sermon, a story, a blogpost, heck, a newspaper article (if I were so inclined) could take almost any form, could include almost any content.

As soon as I type the first word, I've constrained the creativity - the first sentence gives the writing form, but it also excludes almost everything that it could have been. And in some ways I enjoy the winnowing, the narrowing down and sharpening of focus. But once I start writing, even though I still don't know what it will look like when it's done, it's about to be contained and formed and given shape. Everything is no longer possible... It's now...something.

And often, at the end, I love "having written" - but it's just so hard for me to put my fingers to the keyboard and write that first sentence - it's so hard for me to commit to that one idea, that one focus. I have no idea why.

Still, I'm with Steve and Dr. Gagnon, "I like 'having written.'"

By the way, here's a pretty good article on Writer's Block