Manning Monday

Going backwards a bit in the book:

Drawing on the Parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard (Matthew 20:1-16):

Our puny works do not entitle us to barter with God. Everything depends on God's good pleasure.

The salvation offered by Jesus is purely gratuitous, intended especially for those who have no title for it, those who are so conscious of their unworthiness that they have to rely on the mercy of God. The self-righteous imagine that they have earned salvation through observance of the law. Refusing to give up this madness, they reject the merciful love of the redeeming God.

In the misery of the sinner, Jesus sees the possibility of salvation. "Of such is the kingdom of God." If in Russia the sinner was once sent to Siberia, in the church she is called to the kingdom. It is a pure gift to those who have no right to it. This is the very heart of the gospel and the fundamental theme of the beatitudes - the nonvalue of the beneficiaries of the kingdom. To say that we are ciphers is not to denigrate our dignity but to highlight the absolute gratuity of God's promise.

Thus the privileged condition of children and sinners sheds considerable light on the primitive meaning of the first beatitude. Blessed are the poor. Blessed are you who are conscious of your lack of merit and readily open yourselves to the divine mercy.

Maybe this isn't the right place for a confessional, but here it is: I've been a Pharisee. I've been living my life the past couple years as if I believed God somehow owed me something. I have been depending on my own good, my own abilities, my own wisdom, my own strength in so many ways - but mostly in my relationship with God.

What I mean is, I've been treating God as...I tremble even typing this...an equal...

Can you imagine? Don't get me wrong, I know all the right things to say, all the right things to do, and I've had seasons of getting it right - I mean, I'm still certain that it was right to both move to Bethel Park and, after only a year, to move to Pittsfield - hard as that was, I really did submit to God diligently in that time.

I guess what I'm really getting at is that I've been living a life of spiritual privilege, as if God somehow owed me because I've been good enough, obedient enough, sacrificial enough, or whatever...

But Manning's right in this - I need to re-learn the "misery of the sinner" and that the "salvation offered by Jesus is purely gratuitous..." And, mostly, I need to re-learn a consciousness of my own unworthiness...

And now my heart is broken - and that where God starts...a broken and contrite heart...